Routine
by RippedApart
Summary: Maybe, just maybe. If she tells herself long enough...it'll be true.


A/N: Something random that came into my head, Buffy/Faith.

_Disclaimer: _Not mine, never has been. I only like to write about it.

* * *

Feet hitting the pavement

Boots scraping across the gravel, young eyes watching the sun

It's what she does, when she feels alone.

Feels lost within her mind.

If she can keep walking, if she can escape everything – maybe one day she might

It's a hope she tells no one, would they even listen if she tried?

Probably not –

No

She hurts inside, not always.

Some days are worse than others, when thoughts over crowd her.

Memories of things one might have nightmares about.

She's lived it.

…It's worse

And so she walks, clad in her usual leather – it's her costume

A way to hide – to be that hero

The one that never saved her – not when she was little – not now

But she can pretend, she _does_ pretend

Her hands clench tightly, jaw firm as she bows her head – the soft glow of the sun makes her look like a child, innocent in her ways.

She's not smiling, though not frowning – passive is all people see.

Like she is a robot –

Sometimes it feels that way.

She stops – head finally rising as tresses of brunette hair frames her face, moving only slightly as she looks upon the house – holds her breath

Knocks lightly upon the door

She's done this many times before, knows that she'll do it tomorrow.

And so she waits as the door is opened slowly, a smile greeting her – though it is always light and tells nothing.

"Faith," Her name is whispered, a greeting.

Like every other day.

She smiles – it's easy

"Buffy," She replies, "can I come in?"

No need to ask – but its routine – so she does.

A nod and she walks in, boots shuffling.

She never stays long – they hardly talk

They just sit together, it's enough for her, and she likes it that way.

She leaves without a goodbye, just stands and lets herself out.

Tells herself that tomorrow she'll stay, that tomorrow they'll talk – tells herself that tomorrow it'll be different.

…Maybe, just maybe – if she tells herself long enough…

…It'll be true.

Ħבּךּﬠשׁ

She waits

Sitting quietly – alone – in her living room

Hands fumbling with a cushion, one she merely holds as she watches the clock tick.

Seconds, minutes…

She'll come, she always does – and so Buffy waits.

It's routine, why break it?

The knock is light, it always is, quiet and passive and Buffy thinks it's a different part of Faith that she opens the door for.

She stares at her, waiting for Buffy to say something.

It's what they always do, greetings first then comes the sitting.

Faith always sits first, Buffy second.

Watching the brunette carefully – always expecting her to say something.

She never does – Buffy thinks maybe she just wants company, so she keeps quiet to.

Faith doesn't stay long, doesn't seem to be able to make eye contact.

But when she does Buffy see past her walls, see's a part of Faith that's vulnerable. Lost and in moments alone, reminding Buffy of a small child and it's in those moments how innocent Faith seems.

Maybe that's why she comes around?

…Because Buffy can see past her walls?

She leaves with no words, just stands silently – never looking back

It's routine so Buffy doesn't speak, merely watches as she walks out the door.

It seems to help Faith, if only a little.

The time they sit together is short; it's quiet, no fighting and no world beyond the living room.

Simple really why Faith never fails to come around

Buffy understands - tells herself that maybe she can let this go on for as long as both are willing…it'd probably be forever – but she knows she needs to talk, for Faith's benefit.

She knows she needs to get the girl to open up, if only for a second.

She tells herself that next time she will, promises herself because she doesn't want to see the look of absolute barrenness in Faith's eyes.

Buffy repeats this over and over, until the passive knock comes again and she's staring at Faith.

Looking her straight in the eyes, hearing her question of if she's allowed in

She's always allowed in…but it's routine so she plays along and nods.

She chides herself to speak as they sit in silence, her eyes don't stop for a second as she looks over the other Slayer.

Faith's looking at the ground.

Always does

Always in thought

Buffy wants to speak – but doesn't because a part of her doesn't want to lose the moments they have.

It's stupid and Buffy's not even sure why…but sitting here with Faith is the best part of her day.

So she stays quiet and soon Faith's standing, walking that short distance from her.

She wants to help, but she also doesn't want this to end.

Buffy stands and the movement causes Faith to look back, her brown eyes piercing hazel-green, asking in the silent way they always seem to do and this time Buffy doesn't stick to routine…

Swallowing thickly she takes a counted step forward and utters words that are quiet, if even spoken at all. "Stay, stay not just for me but for yourself."

Faith just stares

Buffy stares back

It's quiet and for a minute Buffy thinks maybe she hadn't spoken.

A moment later Faith moves, boot clad feet walking a path not of her usual routine, she nods still staying silent as she embraces Buffy.

It's quick

It's warm and Buffy feels her heart skip one beat

Faith pulls back and a smile is forming if only slowly, one that seems so uncharacteristic of her and yet has never been more like her.

It fits

And Buffy's heart skips two beats this time

Faith doesn't leave…

But when she does Buffy knows there will be a next time, a knock will always be heard, tentative and light; a greeting will always be said and silence will always surround them – but this time words will be spoken if only few because they've picked up a different routine.

And that thought makes Buffy's heart skip three beats.

* * *

A/N: I know it's not much, but my muse grabbed me so I just went with it. It'd be great to get some feedback.


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